Thursday, January 27, 2011

Car Rides, Crepes, and Creepers

I almost died today.

I have to give you some background information for this to make sense. First of all, this is the second semester of my Junior year and it really is going well. I have been really responsible and have been getting all of my homework and reading done. Be proud. but today I found myself with an interesting dilemma....I had free time. I was caught up on my reading and I had plans to go do an assignment with a friend later, but that moment was beautifully free. I ended up in the library (an odd place to go when you have free time I know) and saw some friends. They wanted to make crepes. I wanted to eat crepes. You can see that life was going well for me.

Until the car ride that is. You see, one off the delightful young ladies who was coming to make crepes was under the delightful delusion that she could drive. She was, to my terror, very sadly mistaken. We got into her car and quickly learned that seat belts were a necessity. Which she NOW says was her point. I think she was just drunk.

Anyway, I peeled myself out of the car at Food Lion and we went inside to get the things required for crepes. We got strawberries and bananas and nutella to top the crepes with and we were about to check out when our lovely driver piped up, "Wait guys....don't we need tortillas?" (as I am writing this she says "I'm from North Carolina! We don't have crepes! We have grapes and mashed potatos. How was I supposed to know? I've only seen a picture. It looks like tortillas!") The driving should make more sense now. And it only got better when she decided to pull out in front of a truck in the parking lot. It was a big truck. We were a little car. I have no idea how we managed to not die.

this next part is only funny if you were there. Just know that on our way back home our driver waved and honked at a complete stranger and he waved back very enthusiastically. That's where the creeper comes in. Moving on.

We got to the house and proceeded to make the crepes. The whole while our driver was finding great pleasure in pinching the back of my arm. Not the little sharp kind of pinch, but the grab lots of skin, pull it as far out as you can, and apply pressure like there's no tomorrow kind of pinch.. So by the time the crepes were coming off of the pan , my arm was a bit sensitive. But I didn't mind, as I was cheerfully smearing nutella all over a crepe. Suddenly, the back of my arm felt a tad warm. Then it became a searing white pain. you see, the frying pan was touching my arm.

It was a total accident, and I hold no hard feelings, but the pan got me RIGHT where I had been so lovingly pinched. It was a tad sensitive. (a side note, as a reaction, my arm jerked forward involuntarily, and I happened to be holding a knife with nutella on it and it may or may not have come close to a friend. To her I apologize. But no harm no foul, right?)

So here I sit. Writing my blog. The point? Life is great. Be a bit impulsive. It makes for a refreshing afternoon. Promise. :)

By the way, BECKY WILSON WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME. There. I mentioned you. Also, she is very funny.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Grumpy: noun. In a bad mood

Im grumpy today. I tend to over think things and that just gets me in a bad mood. And when I get into these bad moods I have to go to my happy places. My happy places are a series of websites that have silly pictures that make me laugh. I will now post some in attempt to spread happiness and therefore become so myself.

This is funny cause I'm pretty sure it happened down the street from me.

This is funny because we know its not true.

This is funny because it IS true. (Yes this is a woman. If you don't know who Amy Winehouse is, PLEASE look her up.)

Some of you know I am a Star Wars fan. Some of you don't. But now you do. I love this.

I know it LOOKS like the parent threw her face down, but I doubt that's what happened. Maybe.

Yep. This made perfect sense to me too.

Again. Star Wars. Loved it always, have I.

This one took me a minute to see at first. It makes me think of my family for some reason. also, I am child number five.....hmmmmmmm......

I love these animals.

And the final endorphine booster.....

Because who DOESN'T want a free hug? Especially a Moses one!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Those Awful Scary Moments in Life

So, you know how every once in a while you have one of those moments where you are just plain old terrified? You know the feeling. Its that one when you look at something or hear something and just don't quite understand what is happening and then when you finally do realize what it is you are experiencing the little goblin who lives in the even littler unused organ next to your stomach comes outside and presses the panic button and the bottom of your stomach opens up and all of your innards up to your neck fall out of your body.

At least that's what you feel like is happening.

Then you start to breathe again and you realize that as horrible as whatever the thing is that just happened may have been/be/will continue to be, you aren't dead yet so you have to do something. And you see, I hate those moments. I hate them so much.

I recently had a bad dream. I generally don't remember my dreams, but the scary ones seem to stick. Nightmares have that effect on a person. They can stick for DAYS. So I have recently been in one of these stuck-for-days-thanks-to-a-creepy-dream dazes and ive been recalling fear moments. Here are a few I thought of. They arent actually that bad at fact now I laugh about them. But at the time, I all but soiled my pants.

I have a friend who was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in high school. I hadn't known him very long when he was diagnosed, but I considered him a friend and and naturally worried about him and became almost protective of him. Over the next few years he had radiation and a few surgeries, one of which left a crescent shaped scar on his neck right around the adams apple. It's kind of like his neck is smirking at you because it knows something you don't. Rather rude in my opinion.

So anyway, we went to a scout camp one summer and we were tent mates. He had recently had a radiation treatment, but he ensured me it was all gone now and I would be fine sleeping in the tent with him. The first night was fun, but I don't sleep well in new places and ended up waking up halfway through the night. I started to come to and open my eyes and saw right across from me, RIGHT where his his head had been when we were talking, a faint green glow. It was a thin vertical line of green not too far away. I thought about it for a bit and realized that it was juuuuust about as long as his scar might have been....and it was vertical as if he was laying down. Then it hit me. I lost my innards. I realized at that moment that he was indeed still radioactive, that I was going to grow extra eyes and fingers, and never be able to have children. (not that having extra eyes and fingers would help my chances with the ladies anyway...not to mention any other undesirable side effects) It was terrible. I wanted to cry. But as my eyes began to adjust, I realized that it was just the moonlight hitting the tent. Which was green. And had a vertical rip in it. Innards restored.

Now this story happened just a few weeks ago. I was spending some time with a friend whose wife had to be out of town that night, and he gets HOPELESSLY mopey when she is gone, so I went to go cheer him up. We were just lounging around watching tv and he was surfing Facebook. He ended up going back to some old messages from when he and his wife were just dating and he was talking about how cute they were (*gag* mushy couples get to me sometimes). But he went quiet for a bit and then suddenly said, "Wow. Im such a whore. So, I hooked up with this girl over Christmas..." and I stopped listening. Because I had just lost my innards. The stomach dropped out and I struggled to breathe. Here was my best friend oh-so-calmly mentioning how he had cheated on his wife over Christmas and was laughing about it. I was already forming thoughts in my head."Ok look....I'm your friend and I won't say anything to her, but I will do ANYTHING in my power to get you to confess to her!" and other such thoughts were running through the only organ left functioning in my body. And before I knew it he was laughing at me. I came our of my semi-torpor just in time to hear him say "Nate, that was five years ago." before they were married. He then spent the next ten minutes laughing at me while I lectured him about how he has to give more back story and can't just come out and say things like "so I hooked up with this girl over Christmas" and such. Not cool.

So, here is to all those poor souls with a weak overwhelming fear trigger. You are not alone. It sucks. But you wont die from it.